Emotional blackmail using resentment
Openly and secretly, in personal messages or conversation, it is natural to be offended. We have evolved to develop behaviors that help us effectively manipulate other people. Temporarily cooling the relationship with the person who offended us is to let him know how big a mistake he made. We expect him to understand this, correct himself and apologize.
The essence of resentment and why it is needed
As a rule, a feeling of resentment is inherent in all people. But it is especially close to those who do not know how to distance themselves, and to those whose self-esteem is impaired — overestimated or underestimated. This happens when a person feels that his demands have been exceeded, so he is overcome by anger, which is expressed in this way. A mature response involves clearly expressing your feelings and being able to reach harmony with yourself, although this can sometimes be difficult.
Such behavior is often regarded as abusive manipulation and emotional blackmail, with the help of which we want to make the other party feel guilty for what they have done, regret, retract their words, deny actions that caused us pain. We want the other person to compete for our affection. Meanwhile, a partner or opponent — even if he regrets his behavior — rarely wants to completely abandon it.
